unValentine's Day?

I don't really "do" Valentine's Day.

Back in my high school years, Valentine's Day (aka S.A.D. for Single Awareness Day, or Bitter Day, or something of that nature) was a very strange and bizarre event akin only to something seen on Animal Planet. All the eligible females would preen themselves until they looked their best, in a feeble attempt to catch the attention of the single males around them. Only, instead of putting their best foot forward, or even thinking of showing others that they're loved, they chose to wallow...and whine...and complain; their lot in life was to be unrecognized on Valentine's Day...woe is them...as if, somehow, this would make them more appealing to those of the opposite sex. They made snarky t-shirts intended to poke fun at the holiday, had "bitter parties," and sulked about how they had nobody to commiserate with on such a "stupid" holiday.
Most of this was intended to be some sort of fishing for compliments routine; where if they complained enough about how nobody liked them, someone would surely jump in and reassure them of their worth and appeal.

And yet, they were the first to swoon if a boy made even the most infinitesimal gesture of affection.
To sing the praises of such a holiday if they were recognized on it.
To gloat over their trophies of love.
All the former scoffing would melt away, and where a bitter person once stood, a lovesick doofus remained.

I look back at those days and shake my head in exasperation...and I can't for the life of me understand why any of us behaved in such a manner.

I suppose I could go into a long discussion about people's most basic need/desire to be loved. To be accepted. To be the white knight or sought after princess of lore and legend...because surely, we're all meant to have our own "happily ever after." Aren't we?
Um, no.
Unfortunately, that isn't the case.
And is love about what you get?

Usually, the desperation of wanting circumstances to mirror a favorite bedtime story leaves so many projecting fairytale-like-virtues onto a hollow reality.
And makes them focus on what isn't important.


I am no longer a Valentine's Day hater.
And no, it's not because I have someone to share it with, though I do.

My Love and I have had an agreement, of sorts, not to "celebrate" Valentine's Day. I really like getting flowers and being appreciated as much as the next gal, but I hate how commercialized it all is.
Like, if you don't get flowers or chocolates, or whatever the commercials brainwash you into believing symbolizes love, then nobody must love you...right? WRONG!
And, while there are a lot of good men out there who truly love the women in their lives and use the holiday as a reason to show it...I feel a general vibe of guilt or fear of retribution around this time of year from men as they obediently pick out flowers, a plush animal, and a box of chocolates from the supermarket. Again, I'm not saying there aren't some, but have you seen many happy looking men standing in line the day before or day of Valentine's Day? I haven't.
Maybe they just don't like the lines? ;)

All that to say, My Love and I both agreed that we'd rather attempt to love and respect each other 365 days a year, rather than just try to get the standard gifts for one another on Valentine's Day, fight the crowds to go out, and pay more money on everything just because of what day it was.
And I think that is good.

However :#)

When I came home this evening, there were roses in the kitchen.
Roses for me, and roses for my mother-in-law (we're living with her right now, remember?)
When I found him in our room to say thank you, he asked if I'd seen my present.
I thought he meant the flowers.
I thought wrong.
He told me to turn around.
On the dresser in front of me was The Twilight Zone: Fan Favorites, and Castle: Season 2.


In summary,
-Being bitter and resentful for what you think you deserve while withholding it from others is ironic, not to mention selfish.
-Requiring gifts, or even giving them for insincere reasons is unloving...a sort of anti-love.
- When you don't "do" Valentine's Day, so you show love and respect throughout the year, February 14th is still a day out of that same year. It doesn't mean don't do loving things on Valentine's Day - just don't do them for the sake of the day...do it for the sake of the person you love, and the commitment you made to love them.

Oh, and unexpected, heartfelt gifts are a really nice surprise.
And I'm grateful :)